


Love You and Love You, Tomaranai

by kishidanchougoroshi



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Friends With Benefits, Friendship/Love, Gay Sex, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 12:29:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12232857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kishidanchougoroshi/pseuds/kishidanchougoroshi
Summary: Jun hardly knew Aiba, regardless that they were working for the same movie production. When the crew went for a drink session, Jun found himself completely drunk and to his surprised, Aiba had brought him to his house. The encounter changed Jun's perception towards Aiba, but he was in doubt, since he still needed Sho in his life - a friend with benefit.





	Love You and Love You, Tomaranai

**Author's Note:**

> a.n: I wrote this one-shot for Jun's birthday, but I know it's too late. I ended up changing the plot and the story line and here is the final version. I planned to make it a little bit longer, however, I finished it with 7k words. This work was betaed by a kind-hearted lady, Dallas. Thanks a lot for your help, hugs and kisses for you :)

“I’m not drunk, Aiba-kun.”

  
“Yes, but you have had enough, let’s just stop and go home.”

  
Jun threw Aiba’s hand away and grabbed the glass which was full of whiskey. His head was already heavy, but he didn’t want to stop drinking, not when he finally felt cozy and comfortable.

  
“Tell me, what’s wrong with drinking?” he turned to Aiba who tried to grab his glass away from his hand.

  
“Drinking is not bad, but you have had enough.”

  
“I don’t give a shit,” Jun said, gulping his drink in one go. His head started fantasizing something which didn’t exist, he looked at Aiba and suddenly realized that he was pretty. His brown bangs fell naturally on his forehead, his brown eyes shone brightly under the light, his red lips were kissable.  
“Matsujun, what are you doing?” Aiba’s voice was startled as Jun tried to hug him.

  
Jun giggled and didn’t stop his effort to hug Aiba. He could smell the man’s scent on his neck, felt his bare skin, touched his lips, but they were vague, half of them seemed real and half of them were just his imagination. He didn’t really remember what happened afterward, all he could grasp was Aiba’s voice, telling him to sleep.

  
***  
Jun woke up in an unfamiliar bed and room the next morning; he had a terrible hangover, his head was as heavy as steel. He tried to collect his thoughts about what he did the night before, but his brain wasn’t ready to load the memory.

  
He slowly climbed down the bed, walking towards the door which slightly opened, revealing the sound from a CD player – an orchestra. He pushed the door open and found a neat living room, a dark brown sofa was in the middle, a small round glass table separated it from an LCD TV. A few magazines were on top of the table, neatly piled.  
The sunshine peeked through the white curtain of the full-length glass window on the right side of the room, sending a pleasant feeling to the room. Jun wondered whether he was still dreaming, he closed his eyes for a while and opened them again, but the room was there, as neat as it was.

  
“Matsujun, you’re awake.”

  
Aiba appeared from behind the bar which separated the living room and the kitchen; Jun hadn’t noticed him there while he was absorbed with the interior. He wore an apron around his waist and held his bang with a hair clip which revealed his nice shaped forehead.

  
“Aiba kun, what? How? Where are we?” Jun confusedly looking around.

  
“You’re in my house,” Aiba said, smiling broadly at him.

  
“Your house?” Jun’s head spun around once again as he spoke loudly, he slumped down on the couch and leaned his head on the armrest.

  
“You need a cup of coffee, wait a minute,” Aiba said happily, while returning to the kitchen and busying himself with the coffee. He came back with two cups of hot black coffee and two slices of bread. “Here, this will make you feel better.”

  
“Thanks,” Jun took the cup and gulped the hot coffee. It somehow warmed him from the inside, the caffeine helped to clear his cloudy head. For a while, neither of them spoke, enjoying the nice breakfast while listening to the CD.

  
“How did I end up here?” Jun asked after the coffee was gone.

  
“I brought you here,” Aiba answered shortly.

  
“Was I completely drunk?”

  
“Absolutely drunk,” Aiba said. “You couldn’t even mention your address, so I had no choice.”

  
Jun bit his lower lip, that was totally embarrassing. He usually could handle alcohol, but last night, he went too far. He wondered what Aiba would think of him after seeing him in that state.

  
Jun and Aiba worked for a movie production, both of them were responsible for the costumes. They didn’t know each other very well, they only passed each other in the corridor during work. But last night was an exception, all of the crew members had gone for a drink together and they ended up in the second bar after the others left. Jun didn’t really remember why he and Aiba decided to stay behind and go to another bar.

  
“I’m sorry,” Jun murmured, not knowing what else to say.

  
“Hey, don’t mention it,” Aiba smiled meaningfully at him. “Work sucks sometimes.”

  
Jun looked at Aiba, he didn’t recall that he mentioned something about the reason behind his over-drunken night, but it seemed the alcohol had taken over his consciousness last night.

  
“Did I say something?” Jun asked.

  
“Oh, yes,” Aiba finished his coffee and put the cup carefully on the tray. “You mentioned someone’s name, but I didn’t really catch what you said.”

  
“Oh no,” Jun said, biting his lower lip. He probably mentioned Sho’s name in his sleep. Sho was his sex friend, but it had turned out more than that because Sho had started to feel jealous of Jun’s friends. Jun hated it if somebody controlled his life, but he didn’t want to lose Sho either, because he was so good in bed and it would be difficult to find another one like Sho.

  
“Don’t worry, people do stupid things when they’re drunk,” Aiba waved his hand and patted Jun’s shoulder in a friendly way.

  
“I shouldn’t have gotten so drunk. Did I do something else?” Jun asked, vaguely remembering Aiba’s touch.

  
“No,” Aiba answered, but he looked less than convincing.

  
“Where is my phone?” Jun asked, thinking that he might have something to finish at the office that day.

  
“Here,” Aiba took the phone from the table beside the couch.

  
Jun thanked the man; turned on the phone and scrolled the screen to find his agenda. He found the note that he had to finish the wardrobe by six in the evening that day.  
“Oh no,” Jun massaged his own temple; it was almost 11, he only had a few hours to finish his work.

  
“I will be in trouble if I don’t go to the studio now,” Jun said, confusedly turning off his phone. He looked around and suddenly realized that he wore Aiba’s pajamas. “Did you change my clothes when I was asleep.”

  
“Oh, yes,” Aiba nodded. “I couldn’t let you sleep in those clothes, they were dirty and stinky.”

  
Jun tried to grin, but his face muscles turned stiff all of a sudden.

  
“You can wear my clothes to work, our size is almost the same,” Aiba said, rising up from his seat. “Come, you may choose from my closet.”

  
Jun found himself wearing Aiba’s jeans and a check-shirt on his way to the studio. He never guessed that Aiba was such a nice guy. Jun barely made any friends at his working place, he thought that it would be better to separate things between work and private. He never joined drink-sessions after work and chose to go home instead.

  
Jun reached the office and walked directly towards the wardrobe section. He should have finished his work yesterday, but the director wanted him at the filming site for costumes-check and he had no choice but to finish it today. When he was done, he realized that he hadn’t had any lunch. He walked out from his office and headed towards the nearest convenient store for an emergency lunch.

  
“Welcome.”

  
A familiar part-timer greeted him as Jun entered the store. He was called Nino and as far as Jun knew, he had been working here a long time. He had a pleasant appearance and loved to talk with the customers.

  
“That will be 750 yen,” he said, counting up the cup noodle and an instant coffee which Jun had bought. “Sakurai kun was here a few minutes before you came,” he added.  
Nino always assumed that he and Sho were a couple and neither of them seemed to clarify or deny it.

  
“Did he buy another pack of condoms?” Jun asked.

  
Nino snorted, “I think he can get them at the vending machine.”

  
Jun handed the money to Nino and took his noodle cup and coffee outside. He finished the noodles, sipped the coffee and tossed the empty can into the trash bin. He was still sleepy from the hangover and decided to get a long sleep tonight.

  
He walked towards the nearest station and headed towards his apartment, it was already dark when he arrived. He changed his clothes and suddenly realized that he still wore Aiba’s clothes. They fit him perfectly; their scent was pleasant and somehow calmed him down.

  
“What am I doing?” Jun mumbled to himself, feeling stupid for turning into a pervert. He didn’t know Aiba that well and what happened last night didn’t mean he could befriend the guy. He threw Aiba’s clothes into the washing machine and pushed the ‘wash’ button. He would return them to Aiba tomorrow morning at the studio.

  
***  
Jun swore he never paid any attention to Aiba before this, but it seemed that his eyes played a trick on him when Aiba walked in front of him. The guy wore a simple V-neck T-shirt and a pair of jeans, yet he looked attractive – or perhaps too attractive. Maybe Aiba had put some kind of poison inside the coffee he gave Jun yesterday morning.  
“Good morning, Matsujun,” he greeted Jun with his high pitch voice which usually annoyed him, but now it sounded so pleasant.

  
“G..good morning,” Jun replied, trying to avoid Aiba’s gaze.

  
“We’ll be working the same wardrobe today,” the guy showed him today’s schedule. Jun found his name below Aiba’s and somehow, his heart fluttered.

  
“I guess it would be great,” Jun said, collecting his stuff which he needed for the filming. The movie they were working on was a history-based story which involved clothes from the ancient period of Japan. Jun was responsible for the main actors’ costumes, while Aiba was in charge of the accessories.

  
“Are you free tonight?” Aiba asked him, pulling up a chair to sit beside Jun. “There’s a big sale at my favorite fashion outlet, in case you’re interested.”

  
Jun pretended to check his agenda; he didn’t particularly have any plans tonight, but he didn’t want to look too eager for Aiba’s invitation.

  
“We can have dinner afterwards, what do you say?”

  
“Er-, let’s get to work and decide it later,” Jun said, rising from his seat, leaving Aiba behind him.

  
It was Friday night and usually Sho would give him a sudden phone call around seven and they would end up in bed. Jun checked his phone, what if he sent a message to Sho and explained that he couldn’t make it tonight because of an unexpected arrangement at the filming site. But he restrained himself from doing so. He still needed their once-a-week-hard-sex and his weekend would turn gloomy if he didn’t taste Sho’s cock tonight.

  
He and Aiba and the rest of the wardrobe crews proceeded towards the filming site which would take place in one of the ancient temples in Tokyo. Aiba moved around to fix the accessories for the actors, his slim body nudging in between the narrow set. Sometimes, their sight met when Jun was working close to him, Jun automatically smiled at the man, even though he didn’t mean to do so. By the end of the day, he found himself walking side by side with Aiba towards the fashion outlet, regardless that he didn’t feel like going shopping.

  
“It looks good on you,” Aiba said, handing him a dark-red scarf.

  
“Really?”

  
“Here,” Aiba helped him arrange the scarf in front of a big mirror, their height was almost the same. If Aiba hugged him from behind, his lips would be attached on Jun’s neck perfectly. The imagination nearly made him blush, he tried to avoid Aiba’s eye-contact in the mirror, but he clearly failed.

  
“Don’t you think it looks good on you?”

  
“Y-yes,” Jun said.

  
“Hey, what’s wrong, your face is red, are you sick?”

  
Aiba’s hand ran to Jun’s cheek, the movement made Jun completely breathless. It had been so long since he felt this way when someone touched him. Sho’s touches didn’t count, because they were only sex buddies who wanted to pour their lust into each other.

  
“I’m fine,” he averted his gaze away. “Let’s find something for you then.”

  
Aiba nodded. Jun was about to follow the man’s step when his phone rang and as expected, Sho’s name appeared on the screen.  
He stepped further from Aiba before picking up the phone.

  
“Jun, same place tonight?” Sho asked.

  
Jun didn’t answer immediately, he was torn between accompanying Aiba and waiting for Sho at his apartment. He could make up excuses and go home, but he didn’t want to see Aiba’s disappointed face.

  
“Jun, are you there?”

  
“Er, yes. I’ll be late tonight, though, can you wait for me?”

  
“Late? You don’t work on Friday night?” Sho said.

  
Jun closed his eyes, regretting his decision to give Sho access to his schedule.

  
“Something happened at the filming site,” Jun answered. He was supposed to tell Sho the truth, but he just couldn’t.

  
“Alright, what time will you be at home?”

  
Jun glanced at his watch. “Around ten,” he said. He would accompany Aiba shopping, have dinner and go home. With that, he could be with both without hurting one of them.  
Their shopping had turned into a little date as they continued on to dinner together, they surprisingly enjoyed each other’s presence. Jun was astonished that Aiba was very easy to talk with. He laughed a lot and had a good sense of humor.

  
“Do you have to leave now?” Aiba asked with a rather sad tone when Jun told him that he had to go back.

  
“Yes, I’m so sorry, Aiba kun,” Jun said, making a mental note that he would stay longer on another weekend for Aiba. He would do something about Sho tonight.  
“May I call you tomorrow?” he asked when they parted at the station.

  
“Sure,” Jun nodded. He boarded the train and saw Aiba was watching him; the man waved him good bye as the train departed. Somehow, Jun felt guilty for leaving Aiba just for a sex friend, but he couldn’t let Sho down, not when he wanted to have good sex.

  
Sho had been waiting in his living room, he wore a bathrobe and was enjoying a glass of wine. He lifted his head when he saw Jun entering the room, his lips quirked in a smile.  
“Come here,” Sho stretched his arms to welcome him into his embrace. “I can’t wait to climb you,” he whispered.

  
“Me too, but I need to take a shower first,” Jun mumbled, letting Sho kiss his lips in a full lusty manner. Jun wondered if Aiba was as good as Sho at kissing, wondered if he was better at sex than Sho.

  
“Be quick,” Sho said.

  
Jun walked towards the bathroom, stripped his clothes and clumsily threw them into the washing machine. He turned on the shower and watched as the water drips ran down his body, he couldn’t stop thinking of Aiba, even though he would spend his night with Sho. It was only yesterday that Aiba was almost a complete stranger to him, but tonight he had ruled Jun’s brain like a virus.

  
He finished showering and went out from the bathroom, only to find Sho in front of the door, catching Jun’s lips like a hungry lion.

  
“I told you to be quick, didn’t I?” he hissed between the kisses. Jun had no chance to answer as Sho kept on eating his face. The man guided him towards the living room, still kissing him hungrily and pushed him onto the sofa. Sho had taken off the bathrobe, he was completely naked now, his cock was already hard. His lips left Jun’s, letting him take a few short breaths before he filled it with a fantastic sized head.

  
“You miss it, don’t you,” Sho whispered, thrusting his member deeper into Jun’s throat. “This cock will send you above the clouds, you know that?”

  
Jun nodded as a response; Sho kept on fucking his mouth by moving his hips, his hands were on Jun’s hair, tugging his hair along with the rhythm of his hip movement. It needed a long time to make Sho come and oral sex was never enough. He could stay hard for nearly two hours, making Jun orgasm more than twice before sprouting his seed inside Jun’s hole. Jun didn’t regret it, Sho was the best sex partner he had ever met; and Jun was proud that he could accommodate all of Sho’s lust.

  
“What do you want me to do first?” Sho asked playfully, knowing that Jun couldn’t answer with the cock in his mouth.

  
“Mmmpphh…” Jun moaned quietly. He was a real masochist in sex and he would let Sho do anything to him. He would let Sho pump his ass until he couldn’t stand properly, he would let Sho bind his hands to the bed and do whatever he pleased.

  
Sho pulled his cock from Jun’s mouth and ordered Jun to be on his knees. It was Jun’s favorite to be fucked from behind, he waited for Sho to insert that fantastic cock inside him and send him to paradise. Jun let go of groan when Sho finally entered him; it was just amazing, he closed his eyes, enjoying every inch of Sho’s cock inside his hole.  
“Do you feel it?” Sho leaned down, his lips behind Jun’s earlobe.

  
Jun answered with a pleasure whimper; Sho began kissing his earlobe and the back of his neck, sending him into indescribable delight. They changed position, this time, Jun was on Sho’s lap. He moved his hips up and down while kissing Sho. The last position was Sho on top of him. He had burst in Sho’s hand and still panted from orgasm, but Sho gave him no time to take a proper breath. He pumped Jun so hard that he felt he almost cracked into two. Sho let go of a moan and pulled his cock from Jun’s hole, he poured the semen into Jun’s open mouth, making him drink it all.

  
Sho collapsed on top of him, his breaths were heavy, he attached his lips on Jun’s neck and stayed still for a couple of minutes.

  
“Your ass is still one of a kind, I can’t find it elsewhere,” Sho said while rising from the sofa. “I guess once a week is not enough,” he continued.

  
“I’m honored,” Jun mumbled, he was tired and sleepy. “Do you want to stay over tonight?” he asked Sho.

  
“No,” he shook his head. “I’ll be going to Thailand tomorrow afternoon.”

  
“Make sure you lock my door when you’re leaving,” Jun said. He didn’t catch what Sho answered, because he had already drifted into a deep sleep.  
***  
“Jun kun, hi, it’s me Aiba. I wonder if we can meet up today? How about watching a movie? I don’t know whether you like drama, but if you don’t like it, we can go somewhere else. Call me back if you can make it today.”

  
Jun blinked a few times to adjust his eyes to the bright light; it was almost lunch time when he woke up. His body was stiff, and hurt because he slept on the couch, he grabbed his phone inside his bag and found Aiba’s message. He re-read it until he grasped the whole meaning. He had nothing to do today, he could go and hook up with Aiba. But he had an issue, having Sho fucked him so hard the night before had resulted in sore ass. It prevented him from walking straight and on top of that, his body was so stiff that he doubted he could enjoy his date outside with Aiba.

  
He typed a reply and suggested that they could meet up at Aiba’s house and watch a DVD together, but only if Aiba wanted to. Aiba’s reply came in an instant.  
“I’ll be more than glad to welcome you into my house.” (heart mark)

  
Jun looked at the heart marks Aiba sent, he felt like a teenager who fell in love with his popular senior, he smiled at his phone and replied with a cute emoticon.

  
Aiba was wearing a bright yellow apron when he opened the door for Jun. He gestured to Jun to enter and told him to wait on the couch. Jun tried to walk as normal as he could, but as expected his ass was still hurting from last night. He flopped himself on Aiba’s couch and took one of the magazines on the table.

  
“I’m baking cookies, I hope you like it.” Aiba brought a tray with a plate of fresh cookies and two cups of coffee. He looked so handsome with the apron, he wore a bandana around his head to prevent his bangs from falling onto his forehead.

  
“You bake?”

  
“One of my hobbies,” Aiba flashed a smile at him and gestured to him to take the cookies.

  
“This is good,” Jun said, closing his eyes as he tasted the cookies. They weren’t too sweet; the texture was soft and somehow, they sent a rush of warmth through him.  
“Do you like it?” Aiba asked, watching him as he ate the cookies.

  
“Yes,” Jun answered, looking at Aiba straight in the eye. “I like it very much.”

  
Jun could categorize himself as impatient and it applied to almost every aspect in his life. When he first found Sho, he admitted it almost immediately that he needed a sex friend, someone with no commitment because he was tired of love relationships. In terms of work, he would criticize anyone who came late, ignoring their cold stares afterward.  
He was impatient now, when Aiba was right in front of him, so handsome and flawless in his apron. He didn’t want to think too much or too long; the consequences could wait. He leaned closer to the man and placed his lips on Aiba’s whose eyes opened wide out of his surprise. When he pulled away, Aiba’s face was all red.

  
“That was…”

  
“Your cookies are…”

  
Aiba’s words were lost as Jun leaned closer again, but this time he put a little distance between them.

  
“Your eyes are pretty,” Aiba mumbled.

  
“Thank you,” Jun chuckled.

  
Aiba was still lost for words after a couple of minutes, neither of them spoke, there was only the sound of their cups hitting the table surface. Jun thought that Aiba would stay silent for the rest of afternoon when he finally spoke.

  
“Are you alone?” he stuttered.

  
Jun turned his head to meet the man’s gaze, “Do you mean like single?”

  
Aiba nodded as a response. “Single, so I can assure myself that nobody will punch my nose if I kiss you.”

  
Jun laughed for hearing those words. “Nobody will punch your nose, Aiba kun. Did I surprise you? I love kissing, you know.”

  
Aiba scratched his head in cute manner, “It’s such a coincidence that I wanted to kiss you too.”

  
“It’s alright then,” Jun said, finishing his coffee.

  
They ate all the cookies and decided to watch movies. They sat side by side on Aiba’s couch, sometimes, Aiba would lean his head on Jun’s shoulder, tickling him with his hair. Sometimes, Jun would turn to Aiba and give him a short kiss on his lips. It was completely different to what he had with Sho last night and Jun hoped that they wouldn’t end up in another sex-friend-relationship.

  
He didn’t know how Aiba felt about it; he had no idea whether Aiba was looking for a real partner or perhaps he was just like Jun himself, only fooling around to unleash his biological need. Aiba’s fingers searched for his hand and gripped it gently, he didn’t let go of Jun’s fingers when he slowly drifted to sleep. His head fell to Jun’s chest; his lips were slightly opened, he looked like a little kid who had run out of energy after playing around. Jun softly moved Aiba’s head to his lap and ran his fingers through Aiba’s hair. The world suddenly fell into a peaceful place as he watched Aiba’s sleeping face.

  
Jun felt so content, it was like a cure to his restless soul for these past months. The only issue he had was how to make Sho and Aiba accept each other’s presence. Was it better for him to cut his ties with Sho? No, he couldn’t do that, he needed Sho. No matter what.

  
He put aside his thoughts about Sho, there would be time to handle the issue with these two gorgeous men. He hoped…  
***  
It was the second time Jun woke up on Aiba’s bed and wore Aiba’s pajamas, he felt comfortable and relaxed. Jun brought the blanket up to his nose and inhaled Aiba’s scent; he wasn’t an odor fetishist, but the scent calmed him down in a weird way. They didn’t have sex (it would be too much for Jun’s ass if they did). They ate take-out dinner and drank beers while talking about the comics they were reading. It was a coincidence that they read the same series.

  
Jun didn’t plan to stay over, but Aiba said it would be nice for them to enjoy another off day together. He agreed to Aiba’s suggestion almost immediately, he had no particular plans and he enjoyed being together with the man.

  
He turned to his right side and looked at Aiba’s brown hair, his face was completely hidden underneath the blanket. Jun reached out towards the guy’s hair, but before he could do that, Aiba’s face appeared from under the blanket.

  
“Good morning,” he mumbled with a sleepy face.

  
“Morning,” Jun replied, caressing Aiba’s cheek instead. He really needed this, waking up beside someone who didn’t just aim for his ass. Not that he complained about Sho, but the two worlds he was living in felt so different from each other.

  
He shifted closer to Aiba and snuggled in the crook of his neck, looking for warmth. There was not yet an official pledge in their relationship, they still had plenty of time to think about that and for the time being, he would let himself enjoy their togetherness.

  
***  
“That will be 500 yen,” Nino said, counting Jun’s purchases while chewing on gum. “I haven’t seen Sakurai kun lately,” he added, taking the money from Jun’s hand and tossing it into the cashier’s cash box.

  
“He’s still in Thailand,” Jun answered. He had just remembered that he didn’t ask Sho when he would get back to Tokyo. He would call anyway.  
“I think I saw one of the actors this afternoon,” Nino mumbled.

  
“Really? I’m not that interested in them, though,” Jun replied, glancing over his back, he was the only customer in the convenience store and it meant Nino would use that time to talk to him until the next customer appeared.

  
“The one with slouching back,” Nino’s eyes looked at the ceiling, as if trying to find the actor’s face there.

  
“Ah, he’s Ohno Satoshi,” Jun said. “He’s the main actor.”

  
“He looks boring,” Nino commented.

  
“He is boring,” Jun agreed. “Are you going to his movie’s premiere? It’s nearby and maybe there will be many free tickets there, who knows,” Jun said. He knew that Nino was stingy and would grab the first chance to get free tickets to the cinema.

  
“I’ll think about it,” he shrugged. “I’m not into watching movies these days.”

  
“I’ll remember you if I get free tickets,” Jun flashed a smile at the man.

  
“Thanks, that’s very kind of you,” Nino said.

  
They couldn’t continue their chit chat as other customers entered the store. Jun gave Nino a little nod and left towards the exit. It was just another exhausting day when their crew was preparing the wardrobe for the final scenes. There would be additional actors and actresses joining, stunt men, and guest appearances. Aiba was nowhere to be seen, checking the accessories with his assistants at another building and it would take forever until he finished.

  
Jun slumped heavily on the chair of the wardrobe section, he unpacked the melon bread he had just bought and ate it while looking at the piles of clothes in front of him. He skipped lunch again; the clock had pointed to four in the evening when he realized it. His stomach grumbled in protest for food but he wasn’t in the mood to eat another cup noodle, so the melon bread would be his savior until dinner time.

  
He didn’t meet Aiba for the rest of the day, he had sent the man a message, an invitation for dinner if he already finished. But there was no reply. Disappointed, Jun finally bought a take-away of Chinese Food and ate it alone in his apartment.

  
Aiba’s reply came at 11, when Jun was about to sleep.

  
‘Matsujun, I’m sorry, I’ve only just seen your message. I can’t make it until Thursday evening. Let me know if you are free that night, we can go somewhere romantic, my treat, because I didn’t reply to your message’ Aiba left a funny sticker at the end of his message which gave Jun a smile.  
He replied with a ‘yes’ and ‘can’t wait’ and sent them to Aiba. He hoped the work would be easy on him on Thursday. It would be the last day of filming, which usually ended after midnight.

  
The work indeed turned worse on the next day; the rain kept on falling down until past midday which resulted on a long delay of the outside filming schedule. Jun and the rest of the crew moved the costumes towards the studio again since the director changed the plans to record the scenes on the set instead. He didn’t see Aiba for the whole day, but he had no time to think about the man because he was too occupied with work. They finally finished at 2 am, all of them were sleepy and missed their bed.

  
The over-time continued until the last day of the filming. The closing party was held at the main studio, but half of the crew seemed not to enjoy it for all of them needed a long good sleep after the unending hard work for the past few days. Jun spotted Aiba at one of the chairs, drinking beer while spacing out. He approached the man and sat beside him.

  
“It seems too late for us to have dinner tonight,” Jun muttered while sipping the coffee can in his hand. His eyes were hurt due to the lack of sleep, his muscles were stiff everywhere and he missed having a bath very much.

  
“We have a week off before the next project,” Aiba said, flashing a tired smile at Jun.

  
“I don’t think we will work on the same project,” Jun commented. His agency had decided to work for a drama series while Aiba would take another movie. “It means I can’t steal a chance to meet you at work.”

  
“You can come to my house anytime you want,” Aiba said, extending his hand to take Jun’s. He looked down to their intertwined hands, it wasn’t unusual when someone grabbed his hand, he had Sho after all who fucked him without any feelings involved. He couldn’t guarantee that his relationship with Aiba wouldn’t end up in another sex friend or something alike. “What’s wrong? Don’t you like the idea?”

  
“You can come to my house too,” Jun replied. “Tonight?” he raised a brow while looking at Aiba’s face.

  
Aiba didn’t answer, but he gripped Jun’s hand a little bit tighter while nodding.

  
They went home by taxi, Jun eventually dozed off and leaned onto Aiba’s shoulder along the way. Aiba helped him unlock the door when they reached Jun’s apartment, both of them took a short shower and went to bed almost immediately. Neither of them bothered to wear any pajamas.  
***  
When Jun woke up the next morning, he felt Aiba’s body pressed on his back, his breaths were warm against his skin. Aiba’s hands circled his waist in a protective manner which made Jun smile.

  
“Morning,” Aiba mumbled in his ear.

  
“It’s close to lunchtime already,” Jun hummed, rolling around to face Aiba.

  
“Can I give you a good morning kiss?” Aiba asked, his eyes were half-closed.

  
“No,” Jun replied, “But I will give you one,” he leaned closer and kissed Aiba on his lips. The latter pulled his head closer to kiss him deeper and there was nothing Jun wanted more than staying in this bed all day with the naked Aiba by his side. Jun realized their nudity and the warmth creeped into his face when he accidentally touched Aiba’s hard cock. He hadn’t tasted it yet, and by the look on Aiba’s face, he knew that the other thought of dirty things as he did.

  
“We’d better have lunch first and do whatever we want to do afterwards,” Aiba said teasingly. He slowly rose off of the bed without waiting for Jun’s reply. He didn’t try to hide his hardened cock from Jun when he walked towards Jun’s closet to find some clothes. “I need to borrow an outfit.” He scanned the piles of shirts, T-shirts, coats, scarfs, cardigans, and jackets inside the closet with his mouth half-open. “Your collection is almost like a model.”

  
“Thank you,” Jun said, climbing down the bed and covering his waist down with a towel he found on the chair next to his bed. “You can choose whichever you like. I’ll call for take away, do you want something in particular?”

  
Aiba shook his head and started choosing the clothes from the closet. Jun left him and headed towards the living room. He searched for his phone inside his bag and phoned the udon restaurant nearby to order the delivery.

  
The day was as peaceful as Jun expected, except that he forgot today was Friday. He and Aiba were enjoying an American series on TV when Jun’s door fluttered open, revealing Sho behind it. For a whole two minutes, he and Sho only stared at each other. The man managed to enter the room with an amused smile plastered on his lips, his eyes fixed on Aiba.

  
“Jun-kun, you didn’t tell me you were expecting a friend…” Aiba said, but his voice was blocked by Sho who said loudly, “Who’s this guy? Your new sex buddy? You should have told me beforehand, we could have prepared for a threesome party, you know.”

  
Jun hadn’t calculated that Sho would come without any notice, he hadn’t explained anything to Aiba about Sho and he didn’t know how Aiba would react to sex-friends stuff. He could feel Aiba fidget beside him and Jun didn’t dare turn to him.

  
“I think I should leave,” Aiba said.

  
“Wait, don’t you want to see me fuck him?” Sho asked, approaching the couch where Jun and Aiba sat.

  
Aiba had stood up and took his belongings from Jun’s bedroom, he flashed a fake smile at Jun and walked across the room, nodded at Sho and stepped towards the door. Jun rose off the couch and chased him, but he had no idea what to say to the man. He couldn’t tell Aiba that all of this was a mistake and what he felt for Aiba was real. Hell, as if Aiba would take what he said seriously after he heard what Sho told him.

  
“Aiba-san!” Jun said.

  
The man turned to him, “Enjoy your evening, Jun kun,” he said. Jun didn’t hear anything bitter in Aiba’s voice, it was more like indifference and it hurt him more.

  
Jun felt a tug on his wrist and the next second he found Sho’s face, so close that their noses brushed each other. “Don’t give me that cold face, I’m here to see you,” Sho said.  
“See me or my ass?” Jun said, pushing Sho away. He wasn’t in the mood for sex and he had to justify the misunderstanding between him and Aiba.

  
“Who’s that guy?”

  
“None of your business,” Jun answered.

  
“Hey, you can tell me if you’ve found a substitute sex-friend,” Sho said, trying to kiss him, this time Jun let him.

  
“Sorry, Sho. Can you leave me alone?” Jun pulled away from Sho and slumped into his couch.

  
“Alright, you know where to find me,” Sho said.

  
Jun heard him leaving; the room fell into an odd silence. He sighed deeply, it was all on him, he had been a jerk for wanting two men at the same time. It would be such a waste if he let Aiba go and no matter how much he enjoyed sex with Sho, he had to let go of the man if their relationship gave no good to anyone.  
***  
“We have extra condom flavors; do you want some?” Nino asked him as Jun entered the convenience store.

  
“No, thanks,” Jun said, putting down the coffee can on the cashier desk. Nino took it and scanned it, he mentioned the price while looking at Jun’s face with unnecessary curiosity.

  
“You look like someone with a lot of things to think about,” Nino commented.

  
“Well, I guess you’re right,” Jun shrugged.

  
“My shift is finished, if you need a company, I’m available,” the man said, grinning.

  
Jun looked at him, he could categorize Nino as his acquaintance whom he could talk with between work, and the way Nino talked always amused him, he liked this guy.  
“Alright, let’s go have a drink,” Jun said.

  
He waited for Nino outside the store; it was nearly ten in the evening, but he didn’t feel like going home. Nino appeared five minutes later, giving Jun an innocent grin.  
“Where are we going?”

  
“Nearby pub.” Jun walked ahead of the man. It had been a week since that Friday and Aiba hadn’t contacted him ever since and Jun had no guts to phone the guy. Aiba’s clothes were still folded inside Jun’s closet, Jun wanted to return them with an apology. Sho called him yesterday, telling him that he had found a new sex friend and invited Jun to join if he liked.

  
“A glass of whiskey, please,” Jun told the waiter when they sat down at the bar.

  
“You’ll pay, right?” Nino asked.

  
“Drink all you like,” Jun said to the man. “But you may not leave before me.”

  
“I’m at your service, Master J,” Nino said, chuckling.

  
They drank and stayed silent for minutes.

  
“So, do you want to tell me one of those many things you have on your mind?” Nino asked.

  
Jun sipped the whiskey and put down the glass, he turned to Nino and considered whether he could trust this man with his confusion. But, if both of them were going to get drunk, there was only a tiny possibility that Nino would remember what he talked about. Besides, all Jun needed was to talk to someone. He began with his relationship with Sho and how Aiba attracted him, but at the same time, he didn’t want to let Sho go. Nino listened to him and reacted at the right time, when Jun finished, Nino didn’t comment immediately, but left a reasonable pause before answering.

  
“Well, you haven’t had sex with that Aiba guy, so I think you must give it a try before comparing him to Sho,” Nino said lightly.

  
Jun snorted, Nino had a point, but he didn’t want Aiba to see him as someone who only looked for sex pleasure. He wanted a proper relationship with that man.

  
“Or maybe you should ask Aiba whether he minds it or not that you have sex friends outside of your relationship,” Nino continued.

  
“As if talking about it is as easy as what you think,” Jun said, scowling. If he was that gutsy, he would have already told Aiba that he liked him and asked him out.  
“The worst case, you have to accept it if Aiba dumps you. It’s better than guessing an uncertain answer, you can always look for others. With your appearance, I guess everyone wants to sleep with you,” Nino said, giving Jun a soft pat on his shoulder.

  
“I guess I have to invite them for a threesome sex,” Jun said, half-joking, half-serious. He knew that Aiba was working for the dramas at the studio in Asahi Television. Jun could wait for him there and talk to him, even if he wasn’t sure that Aiba would want the same thing. He needed to make things clear with Aiba; at least they could stay friends if the man didn’t want anything romantic between them.

  
Nino was drunk after finishing his third glass of whiskey. He leaned his head on the surface of the bar and dozed off. Jun paid for the drink and shook Nino lightly. He brought Nino to his apartment since he couldn’t leave the man alone in such a condition. Hours later, he found himself sleepless on his couch. He stared at the ceiling, thinking of Aiba.  
***  
Jun waited for Aiba outside of the studio. He got the information about his schedule and if the crew had stuck to it, Aiba would be finished any minute now.

  
“Aiba kun,” Jun approached the man as he walked out from the studio.

  
“Jun kun,” Aiba looked at him with a surprised expression on his face.

  
“Do you have time?” Jun asked.

  
Aiba glanced at the planner in his right hand to buy some time. “I have a meeting an hour from now,” he mumbled.

  
“That will be more than enough,” Jun said. “Can we talk somewhere more private?”

  
Aiba nodded. He told Jun to follow him towards the roof top of the television building; it was dark, but they could still see their own steps. They walked towards the safety fence where they could enjoy the night view of the city.

  
“That man, is he your boyfriend?” Aiba asked, looking far away towards the city light.

  
Jun was taken aback when he heard what Aiba said, he expected something stiffer.

  
“No, we’re…” Jun gulped, not knowing what was the other words for ‘sex friends’.

  
“Let’s say that you’re both friends with benefits,” Aiba said, turning at Jun. His back leaned to the fence behind him.

  
Jun nodded. “I want to apologize for what he said,” he muttered, stepping to Aiba’s side and leaning on the fence as well.

  
“Do you want us to become friends with benefits as well?” Aiba asked with a straightforward manner which surprised Jun.

  
Jun needed a couple of seconds to answer it. “I…I like you for real and…” he paused, looking at Aiba’s eyes. “I don’t want us to end up as sex friends.”

  
Aiba crossed his hands over his chest and looked at Jun’s eyes as if looking through him. “Do you like me?” he asked after a good two minutes.  
Jun nodded in silence. “I like you and it’s different, I can’t describe it in words, though.”

  
“But you can’t be apart from that Sho guy?” Aiba asked.

  
Jun admired that he remembered Sho’s name. “I’ll cut the ties if you want me to,” Jun said.

  
Aiba smiled for the first time, he leaned closer to Jun and put his right palm on Jun’s cheek. “I won’t do that if you’re not happy with it.”  
“But…” Jun was about to argue when Aiba kissed him on his lips.

  
“We haven’t had sex,” Aiba whispered. “I’m afraid I can’t satisfy you in bed, so maybe you can keep that Sho kun for a substitute player or perhaps we can satisfy you together, but of course your heart is mine.”

  
Jun felt the heat crawled to his cheeks, he smiled at Aiba and let the man kiss him once again before pulling apart.

  
“I have a meeting to catch up, you can wait in my room if you like,” Aiba said, caressing Jun’s lips with his thumb.  
“I’ll be waiting,” Jun nodded.

  
“I’ll be home as soon as possible,” Aiba said, grabbing Jun’s hand as they walked back towards the studio room.  
***  
Having sex with Aiba was perfect, he knew the right spot which made Jun fly, his cock was amazing and it took the right amount of time before he reached his peak. When they finished, both of them were all sweaty. Aiba collapsed on top of him, but he still managed to give Jun long and heated kisses all over his face.

  
“We should have started earlier,” Aiba said, rolling aside and let Jun rest his head on the crook of his neck.

  
“I already gave you a sign when I was drunk,” Jun mumbled to Aiba’s neck.

  
“I don’t want to have sex when I’m not sure about it, you know,” Aiba said.

  
“Such a thoughtful person,” Jun replied.

  
Aiba caressed Jun’s hair and gave him a kiss on the lips. “Well, I’m glad that we came up with a good result and perhaps we should try with Sho kun.”  
“I’ll try to inform him,” Jun said.

  
Aiba showed him that he was a great boyfriend; he never failed to make Jun smile and he always spared time to give Jun a short phone call on breaks between work. Aiba didn’t mind about Sho and it was up to Jun now whether he still wanted to continue what he had with Sho or not. He hadn’t met Sho for the whole month since he and Aiba dated and because Aiba mentioned that it was okay to invite Sho for their making-love session, Jun thought that it was time to give it a try.

  
He had set up the meeting for the three of them in a hotel on a Friday night. Sho seemed surprised when Jun called him, but from the way he answered, Jun knew he was all excited about it. Jun waited for them to show up; he had prepared three glasses of wine on the table, a bottle of lube and a pack of condoms on the side table. He only wore a bathrobe and enjoyed the wine by himself while glancing at the clock every now and then, imagining the sex he would get from the two men.

 

 

 

END


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